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I wrote a recent post about dating your spouse after having kids. I talked about why it’s so important, and how to plan for dates when money and time are limited.
But what about when you want a night off being both a parent and a spouse?
Hello, girls’ night!
I am a big fan of girls’ nights for me, and for guys’ nights for my husband. While a couple’s date night is important to keep the spark alive, a solo outing is important for awakening your sense of self as a person separate from your partner and children.
It’s very common to feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself when you have kids. Your whole identity can become wrapped up in your mini-mes, which has the potential to feel wonderful and, to be honest, terrible at the same time. You love your children to bits, but you also miss the old you. The you that would soak in the paper while savoring your tea. The you that would pop over to a friend’s house, just because. The you that would take your time as you dance and sing to music while you excitedly got ready for an evening out.
Nothing can rewind the clock, and you don’t really want that anyway, but it is so nice to have an evening without the stress and mental load of motherhood. So, how do you make time for a girls’ night? How do you get the getaway without putting the burden of solo parenting for the evening on your partner?
This is what my husband and I do, and it works a treat: Girls’ or guys’ nights are scheduled for after the kids’ dinner and bedtime. I swear, that’s the magic formula. That’s it! Our individual nights out do not interfere with or interrupt our normal life! We do the night time routine as normal, and once the parenting jobs are done, I head on my merry way knowing I have nothing to worry about back home. The kids are asleep and my husband gets to do whatever it is that husbands do when they’re on their own. Additionally, he has nothing to be annoyed or resentful about, meaning he and I both feel good about my outing, and there won’t be any push-back with future girls’ nights!
Oh yeah, and you get to enjoy your evening of FREEDOM!
Last night was my night, and I had such a good time. I got a much-needed evening chatting, bantering, and laughing hard with my girls. We ate at a great restaurant, we enjoyed drinks with funny names, and after dinner we went out for a little karaoke. It was the sort of night that is rejuvenating and freeing, and makes you feel just oh so good. Oh and another bonus was that the restaurant we went to gave a dollar from each drink to different charities. Talk about a win-win-win! My husband got a chill evening at home, the girls and I got a night out with laughter, fun, and letting loose, and we contributed to good causes at the same time.
What’s your favorite thing to do with your girls? Share in the comments! And remember to subscribe!!
Hugs and love,
Christina is the writer behind the blog Real Life Mama. She is a mom two littles, a 4-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son. Christina and her family live in San Diego, where she is a full-time mama, part-time mental health therapist (LPCC), and round-the-clock blogger, writer, and author. If she ever gets a moment to herself, she can be found singing at the top of her lungs, cooking, and crafting. Thanks for reading!